Cruel Whip Vs. Cool Whip

Cruel Whip Topping vs. the Real Thing

After giving a speech at Anderson Heart Hospital, a 50’ ish woman with serious heart disease approached my podium to ask me if Cool Whip was bad for her heart “How much do you eat,” I inquired. She struggled to pull and oxygen tank behind her with a tube running into her nose.
“Oh, about a half a tub a day,” she softly responded.

After picking my jaw up off the floor, I explained that Cool Whip Topping contains man made ingredients that lead to heart disease. Wired magazine: issue 15.05 states that water and air are the main ingredients. Next there is the blandness factor. Since blandness is a trade, snicker, secret, the company doesn’t have to disclose the specific flavorings. It is also made with our nemesis High Fructose Corn Syrup which has been associated with obesity and the plague of diabetes. Wired Magazine suggests since HFCS is known to make lab mice fatter than other diets, so, as they say, keep your lab rats away from the Cruel Whip.

It is fake, full of air, so you are eating mostly water and air for just over twice what it would cost to whip real cream yourself. I don’t care if you have carpel tunnel, it’s still the lesser of two evils in moderation. Of course if you have heart disease and you eat whipped cream, you have a death wish.

Wired Magazine reports that the next ingredients are real doozies. They are Hydrogenated Coconut and Palm oil, plant saturated fats, which if left alone are good for our hearts, but the process of hydrogenation alters their structure. Restaurants have banned using trans-fats in major cities all over America because of its direct connection to causing heart disease. Why can’t man leave well enough alone?

Not sure about you, but I’m crazy over the next ingredient, Polysorbate 60, a precursor to antifreeze, with a fake sugar derivative. The result, says Wired, can be detergent, an emulsifier, or in the case of polysorbate 60, a major condom lubricant. Is this what God wants us to put inside his gift to us?

Next they add a dollop of delicious Sorbitan Monostearate which chemist call synthetic wax and is sometimes used as a hemorrhoid cream. How charming. This substance keeps Cool Whip from turning to liquid. Next they gently stir in Xanthan and Guar Gums which are natural thickeners and retards the formation of ice crystals preserving it’s seductively deceiving fluffiness. You can wrap up a dog log in pretty wrapping, but it’s still a dog log.

I have a suggestion for you. Last night, Sandi and I took a quart of Strawberry Stony Fields Farm Organic yogurt, lined a fine-mesh strainer with a dish towel, and plopped in the yogurt. Then we placed it over a bowl to catch the whey put it in the refrigerator for about an hour or over-night. When the whey drains off you are left with a creamy, tasty substitute for cream topping without all the synthetic chemicals. Got it?
Sweet Dreams,
Chef Wendell




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