Sunday, October 24, 2010

Vegaholic's Unite!

Hello, my name is Geoff and I’m a vegaholic.”

“Hi Geoff!”

“No matter how hard I try, I can’t say no to the deliciously addictive sensation I get from eating vegetables, any vegetables; my green fix. For gosh sakes, they’re virtually everywhere, easy to score at back-alley farmers’ markets, salad bars and grocery produce aisles.”

His head falls in shame. “Out of sight, behind drawn shades, I greedily eat them with reckless abandon. Life without veggies isn’t worth livin’. I’m pathetic, but it feels so darn good; really, really good. You see, I’m addicted to the taste of life. Without vegetables surging through my veins, I will surely wither, withdraw and perish. My baffled family physician mistakenly assumes I’m avoiding him since I never darken his door. I can’t help myself; vegetable side-affects arouse my immune system. My meat-munching macho friends call me a weak sissy. But you know what? I couldn’t care any less. I’ve never felt groovier.” No one forced Geoff to become a tree-hugging, grass-eating, granola-crunching vegaholic. It just happened.

Is your Holy Temple whispering in your ear to dose-down your red meat intake? Like a hungry python in a bunny cage, are you sucking down processed foods seven days a week from the local convenience store, pushers of low-grade nutrition? That small, tugging voice is your freshly altered mind ‘Jones-ing’ for the enjoyable, addictive ecstasy of vegetables. Any veggie junkie will attest that there ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, baby. Our vegaholic friend advises, “Don’t buy the bogus genetically modified organism (GMO) vegetables, man. They’ve like, been stepped-on, man, and don’t give you the groovy health buzz. Get an organic connection, dude.” Participating in an intimate, codependent in flagrante with colorful vegetables, however, may be illegal in several states, but that’s a chance you must take.

Recently, a gentleman stopped to say he heeded plant-based eating advice and capitulated to ‘vegaholism.’ He’d lost 30 gut-busting pounds, rarely gets ill and has refreshed energy-stash of mind-blowing mental clarity. He was an altered man; a vegetable-dependant junkie glowing with health and self-esteem. Vegaholics live seven years longer than carnivores and have appreciably reduced rates of obesity, coronary heart disease, hypertension, type II diabetes, diet-related cancers and diverticular disease, constipation, rheumatoid arthritis and gall stones.

Personally I didn’t get it. Instead, ‘it’ got me. After surviving terminal heart disease, I began to score more veggies. It provoked me to crave more and more varieties of vegetables, instead of the stepped-on, industrialized, GMO foods which caused me a visit to the “ICU Flop House”. Vegetables were merely a bothersome obligatory addendum to a meal. Over time, however, I too became a veggie junkie.

Anatomically we are herbivorous. Our composition and digestive system demonstrate that humans have evolved for millions of years living on fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables.

Scientists concur early humans were fruit and vegetable eaters and throughout history our anatomy has not changed, but our low-grade American diet certainly has deteriorated. Man’s structure, external and internal, compared with that of the other animals, shows that fruit and succulent vegetables constitute his natural food.

As much as some folks detest the addictive ‘green’ stuff, all plant foods have an enormous impact on your temple. Get-off on these tips:

Most veggie junkies hook up with a ‘hoe’; and grow their own.

Farmers markets are veggie junkie ‘crack houses.’ You can always count on high-quality stuff.

Score seasonal fresh fruits. It’s cheaper plus gets you-off-better on head-spinning nutrition; a natural high.

Make a plan with your closest enablers; get-off together so you won’t feel so guilty.

Open your mind, arteries and mouths to the heavenly buzz of the Universal Apothecary; plant foods. It’s not so much that we are what we eat, but what our Holy Temple absorbs from the pleasurably addictive veggies we were designed to consume by Creation.