Booze: The Elulsive 5th Food Group

Booze: Satan’s drink or the elusive 5th food groupPublished June 24th, 2010
By Wendell Fowler


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.” Proverbs 31: 6-7

Shhay there, you; … hiccup, stagger, did you know that ten, ‘pardon me,’ burp, ten out of four people drink booze?” Today, as a transformed alcohol over-user, I look into the mirror of my past, flinching when in public, I recognize someone’s values’ dissolving into an excessive slurry of ice cubes chilling their fourth Scotch whiskey; “I don’t care about my new shoes, urp, blurp, splat. Taxi!”
Since ancient times, ardent spirits have played roles in religion, economics, sex, politics and all aspects of society. Abe Lincoln, when told General Grant swilled whiskey while leading his troops replied, “Find out the name of the brand so I can give it to my other generals.” Presidents conspired with demon rum, a social lubricant, to procure votes and eager Federal judges interrupted proceedings to partake. G. W. Bush snorted and soused his way through college. Nixon habitually imbibed Scotch and soda, and a snockered LBJ cavorted about his Texas ranch in an open convertible whilst imbibing scotch and soda. Perhaps this is why he insensitively picked up his pet Beagles by the ears and considered it entertainment.
Nurtured by guilt-based fundamentalist religious literalism, I was brainwashed if demon alcohol met my inquisitive lips, I’d go directly to a blistering hell on a razorblade only to kersplash into a vat of stinging alcohol. As a repressed teen it was incumbent to investigate and lay hands upon the proverbial wet paint. Religious repression eternally backfires so I spent the next 20 years rebelling in a boozy stupor. Theologically ironic considering bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County, Kentucky where it was first produced by a happy Baptist minister in 1789. Ask any hotel room service attendant and they’ll attest in-room liquor sales soar when these groups hold conventions; an innocent illustration of our humanness. Protestant groups, Episcopalians, Lutherans, and Presbyterians consider moderate use tolerable but frown upon drunkenness that punches the ticket to eternal agony. Roman Catholics tend to be more accepting of a wee bit of the grape. References to alcohol in Jewish writings are to moderate wine consumption. In much of France, Germany, Scandinavia, and Italy, from childhood, wise people thought of wine as a food, so liquor was not such an enthralling curiosity.
Alcohol as medicine has been recorded throughout history and is mentioned 191 times in the Old and New Testaments. If you drink moderately, there’s ‘proof’ alcohol improves health while tranquilizing your frenetic everyday life.

Moderate drinkers tend to have enhanced health and live longer than those who are either abstainers or booze hounds.

In addition to having fewer heart attacks and strokes, moderate drinkers are less likely to suffer hypertension, high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease, Alzheimer’s disease and the common cold.
Commonsensical consumption appears beneficial in reducing or preventing diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, bone fractures and osteoporosis, kidney stones, digestive ailments, stress and depression, poor cognition and memory, Parkinson’s disease, hepatitis A, pancreatic cancer, macular degeneration, angina pectoris, duodenal ulcer, erectile dysfunction, hearing loss, gallstones, liver disease, Alzheimer’s, the common cold and poor physical condition in elderly.
A Harvard study found the risk of death from all causes to be 21 percent to 28 percent lower among men who drank alcohol moderately compared to teetotalers. Loathe hangovers? Try drinking a glass of alkaline Smart Water every two or three drinks to get fluid into the Temple before the end of the night. When you wake up with a big head and your liver quivers, consider adding Milk Thistle, a restorative liver tonic, to your daily vitamin regimen everyday for a month whilst not drinking. You’ll feel a lot better, even after drinking is resumed; in moderation, of course. Cheers!